Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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