So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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