Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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