He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
