dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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