Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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