im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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