I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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