You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
