just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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