You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
