He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
