Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He passed out mid-signature
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
