tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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