Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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