Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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