i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
