break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize