i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
