I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
