yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
