just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize