so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
