she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
