I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
