I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize