i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
