I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
