The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
