he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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