I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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