Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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