But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
