Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
