I forgot how hot balto sounded
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
