Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
