You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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