If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
vagina is talking i cant
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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