just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
