I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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