For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
