My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize