Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize