Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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