K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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