Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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