1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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