so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There are leaves in my underwear?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
