He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
