im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize