I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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