Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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