It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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