Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Randomize
