Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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