my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
