I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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