Everything about him screamed your future.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
