she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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