whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
