i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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