do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
